5 Modern Pseudo-Celebrities That We Just Love To Hate

The 2000s coughed up a plethora of people via contests, celebrity offspring, the internet and reality TV and spat them out all up in our faces. This all inclusive package came with made up pregnancies, various uninhibited vag flashes, spit, vomit and numerous of other shenanigans. The D-list over the last ten years has expanded and it’s a wonder there are still quality people left to idolize anymore.

In fact, there is no more room on the D-list, we have moved on to the H-list: People we love to hate. The other option was to just douse the entire millennium in lighter fluid, set it on fire and pretend it never happened. In the meantime, while that marinates, here is a list of five people who some how miraculously became sensations in the 2000’s, because we love to hate…

Tila Tequila

If bathroom pictures, stalkers and unwanted spam weren’t enough of a reason to delete your MySpace page, Tila Tequila is also an alternative motive. Tila Tequila, who was initially discovered via MySpace, went from pimping herself out on MySpace, to VH1, to TMZ, to Twitter and now has settled on just sailing aimlessly amongst various blogs on the internets.

At some point there was some potential talent in there, but has since demised.

And instead, according to the internet, we can determine that Tila Tequila’s day goes something like this:

1) Wake up with a stretch and remove all foreign objects from vagina.

2) Log onto Twitter and simultaneously have a breakdown and put all personal life into 140 characters.

3) Multitask: Argue with lawyer and people of Twitter.

4) Suck lawyer’s dick.

5) Pee on a stick.

6) Google the word “fabulist”.

And then, at the end of the day, the million dollar question for Tila Tequila is, “Who are you and where are you going with this life?” Her issues remain pending.

Natalie Nunn

The Bad Girls Club now in its fourth season, is basically a reality show about a bunch of attention seeking bitches who live in a house together, drink, fight and smoke a lot. Not unusual for a reality TV show, the only difference is most of these shows end with a fake boyfriend like Flava Flav or someone with long greasy hair and shared groupies.

No worries, although the prize penis was MIA the girls found other ways to force purpose on their 15 minutes of existence. On the BGC4, Nunn was the one with the chin that could double as a butt plug and who kept shouting, “I run LA! I run LA!” every 2 minutes. This was not only obnoxious, but weird because she’s originally from San Mateo, CA. Maybe her GPS was broken? Or without a consolation prize Nunn must have assumed she needed to compensate.

Natalie Nunn has also figured out how to translate her time on a low-budget cable television show into the vast world of internet entertainment gossip by attaching herself to one of the hottest names in R&B today: Chris Brown. Sure enough that didn’t really work out for her so she took her act back to the cheap television world. Insanely classy, total catch Chris Brown, you moron.

Nicki Minaj

It seems like just yesterday people had their panties in a bunch, because there wasn’t a Barbie doll that represented black women. Like the original Barbie was already doing such a great job representing white women. *side eye* Mattel launched these back in October and for a moment there was peace in the world.
Then, Minaj, another rapper discovered via MySpace, was signed with Young Money Entertainment. So now we have pregnant teen Barbie, tramp stamp Barbie and OMG Nicki Minaj, rapper Barbie!

If involved with any social networking site, it is noticeable that there is strong need for a torch to melt the over-whelming amount of plastic bitch-no-you-did-NOT Barbie wannabes. Thanks to Minaj, there are millions of young girls who after adding a few pink streaks to their hair and face, learning a Young Money hook, think they too are in fact Barbies.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

These two, for now, are codependent. They get paid more that way. Look out in the future for an Ike and Tina/Sonny and Cher type break up once their publicity stunt of a marriage expires.

In the meantime, Heidi’s album is now in stores. According to Spencer, she will be the next Michael Jackson. Oh wait, never mind, her album sold less than 1,000 copies. So to distract the attention off of that mess Heidi is working on her Jocelyn Wildenstein transformation and frozen paparazzi poses.

And Spencer will still be somewhere in the sidelines trying to convince everyone how great she is, well again, until the money runs out…

We would like to welcome MsPuddin as our newest guest writer. She’s young, beautiful and outgoing with a very unique style and she wants to prove against all odds that hot ex models can actually have brains too. Totally an exception, we say! Check out her blog or shoot us an email and we’ll make sure she gets it.