How to Get Over Kim Kardashian
April 26, 2011 by Ted18 Comments
Statistics say that 83% of all men have had a sexual fantasy with Kim Kardashian. Okay, well, I don’t know about that, it was Barney Stinson-esque, but I sure have obsessed over her especially after torrenting her “leaked” sex tape with that dude with an inappropriately large dong. Ask my friend Lucian, he had to make an intervention for me for the sake of my right wrist (that also serves as my Counter-strike hand and my game was dragging).
My old roommate the Dude once taught me that the best way of getting over a chick is to picture her taking a dump. For the first time in my life that didn’t work with Kim Kardashian. So I stormed the ins and outs of the web to come up with a collection of pictures that would justify the other 17% of world’s men that say she’s fat and ugly. I have to say it worked a bit.
Kim Kardashian is most likely the reason people invented the expression dat ass. But what about her ass in these pics?
While I agree that the hourglass body is not a bad look on ladies, this is a bit too much, don’t you think?
Laws of gravity affect large masses more than lighter ones, right?
Perhaps a bad choice of jeans? They’d look better on Scarlett Johansson.
Alright, so it wasn’t the jeans, it was the mass again…
The infamous Complex magazine un-photoshopped release. “What curvy girl doesn’t have a little cellulite?” is what Kim Kardashian had to say about this
Thigh apocalypse. A little cellulite hardly describes it.
“Rumor” has it that Kim Kardashian is not really what you’d call a “natural beauty”. In fact, any pic of her without make up or tons of airbrushing sustains that argument as valid.
A couple of pimples there, a couple there…
The whole chin area is has like this acid damage or something similar.
Hey girl, keep that face straight. And wear make up. What are we, Amish ?
Someone needs to fix the ozone layer. The sun’s burning like a crazy mofo.
In before botox.
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That girl seriously needs to sport a “WIDE LOAD” sign on that behind!
really beautiful butt..
Umm still hotter than 99% of women
Ted, you better be seriously fucking hot as shit to be making this kind of commentary. But more likely than not, you’re probably a fat fucking useless turd. And seeing as this is what you do for a living, you’re a completely worthless human being.
Didn’t work, I’d still hit it
WHOEVER CREATED THIS ARTICLE IS A HATER!!!!
I DISLIKE THIS PERSON BECAUSE OF COSMETIC IMPERFECTIONS
what is wrong with people today
she looks hot in every single pic!
to: “uhh” lol shut the fuck up your probably fatter than Ted… haha Kim-k is just naturally un-attractive no need to defend her… im sure she knows it
You make me sick. Nitpicking like that. Get over your fucking self. I’m sure you are a real piece of work.
Fucking sites like this are the worst. I’m not a huge Kim fan, but that’s got nothing to do with her looks. Indeed slamming people over their looks like this is why the world is absolutely fucked up. Ted is part of the problem.
I think she looks like a good looking woman even in the shots where she’s “goofy” or “bad” (according to you) looking.
Is this how you judge people all day? Fucking sad.
Excellent, hysterical article! Hilarious replies, especially the “useless turd” one! Haha! This absolutely made my day.
this is incredibly hurtful and mean i cannot honestly believe someone would write and publish this let alone think it…disgusting human behavior, and really quite frankly sad.
So she’s not perfect you ass hole! I doubt you’re living up to her standards either.
she’s absolutely gorgeous and when she isn’t wearing makeup she resembles the rest of women in america and STILL looks exceptionally beautiful. good luck getting laid douche
This guy has never actually dated a hot chick ever…ya can tell..
Probably an absolute geek tool
You are a gigantic asshole. A record-breaking douchebag. You literally make me sick to my stomach. Who the hell are you to break down and insult a woman over completely natural attributes. Go to hell.
Yeah, so I think she still looks fine in like 95% of these pics. Also, everyone takes bad pics from time to time- even celebs. If you want to get over her, stop looking up pictures of her.