Online Journalism Classes According to Ron Burgundy

May 10, 2012 by Justin C3 Comments


I’m Ron Burgundy, and today I’d like to discuss online journalism classes – history’s oldest form of education. A lot of people think e-learning is for poindexters, but they’re all a bunch of lying, flea-bitten hobos, traditional liberal arts programs are filling up with business school dropouts and it is now better to study from the comfort of your own home, among your personal collection of leather-bound books.

If you want to take an online journalism class, first look into a mirror to make sure you’re either a man or a pretty lady. Then, do some research about schools that offer online journalism classes. For this step, you will need access to the Internet, a virtual library of information and pornography that was invented by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in 1973. There are literally dozens of websites on the Internet, and all of them discuss online journalism classes at great length. But before you start forkin’ over the dough, check out some of the free online journalism courses offered by Poynter News University.

A lot of online colleges are nothing but damned impostors. Make sure your school-of-choice matches up with The Database of Accredited Secondary Programs and Institutions, a website maintained by the U.S. Department of Education. If you’re a college student, chances are you’re poorer than a Tijuana hooker. So don’t spend money on classes that won’t earn you a legitimate degree.

Once you’ve enrolled in some beginner-level classes and you think you’ve got the chops to make it in this business, figure out what kind of journalism you want to study. If you have a stunning jaw line and flawless teeth – or you’re a nerd who knows how to operate a camera – then broadcast journalism might be your true calling. If you like to write or take non-pornographic photos and you don’t care about being unemployed in the next two years, then check out print media. Web journalism is a hot trend with all the kids, since a lot of magazines and newspapers are strictly online now. No matter what you decide, online classes have you covered – and a lot of them cater to your busy schedule.

A lot of academic experts and other smart people recommend taking non-journalism classes. Fields like communications, history, creative writing, political science, economics and computer science will help you understand the topics that working journalists write about today. In real life college, students waste their time taking classes like P.E. and psychology because they are full of loose women. But since you’re getting your degree online, you won’t have to worry about dodging harlots.

According to a New York Times article by Brian Stelter, advertising has become very important to online journalism. So it can’t hurt to take some marketing classes while you’re earning an online journalism degree. These courses will teach you how to find classy sponsors, such as Clubman Moustache Wax or Balvenie Scotch Whisky. You will also develop a firm handshake and learn how to seduce women with fleeting glances.

If you want to study ‘the oldest profession in the world’ but you like saving money and staying home, then online journalism classes are the way to friggin’ go. Once you’ve earned your degree, all you need to succeed are a strong work ethic, sophisticated palate and willingness to sleep with network executives. ‘Til then, stay classy, Internet.

Comments

3 Responses to “Online Journalism Classes According to Ron Burgundy”
  1. Whats up! I simply would like to give a huge thumbs up for the great info you could
    have here on this post. I will probably be coming
    again to your weblog for more soon.

  2. ceceInwah says:

    “She had a brother in Connecticut,” I said. “We could ship it to him, if we knew his address.”
    Most people think that they can never afford to buy designer clothes. More often than not, this is true among those who live in areas far from factory outlets or those who cannot seem to get discount designer clothing items in several stores. Unbeknownst to many, there are numerous stores which offer great items at the most affordable prices. No matter how branded the items are, they go on sale from time to time; and when the sale day comes, that is your best shot in buying most of the things that you dream of having. Chanel Leather Shoulder Bag White Polish 36063 But outside the sales seasons, shoppers looking for bargain-basement prices and irresistible clearances must look elsewhere. It is my experience that the best bargain prices on clothing offered in Paris are found at designer depots.

  3. Red Pen: Red pens are great for marking corrections that you want to
    make on your papers, or making special notes in your college course texts.
    Another advantage is that many hospitals have set up study groups for online
    nursing students. The course is under the same
    curriculum as the campus courses, but you do not have the professor in the class
    explaining things to you.

    Here is my blog post … norwich university online

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!