Breaking: Viagra, Cialis Poppers Have Higher STD Risk

In yet another revolutionary case study, researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital and the University of Southern California have revealed that middle-aged and older men who take erectile dysfunction drugs such as Viagra or Cialis are more likely to have sexually transmitted diseases. Study was performed on no less that 1.4 million people. We might yet have an explanation for this.

However stupid it may seem to be, there actually are people out there who believe that men over 50 popping a couple of Viagra pills a day do it because they wanna keep the fire burning in their 30 year long marriage. That’s entirely false though. Men over 50 don’t even know if their equipment works anymore since no one cares to ask. Except someone else besides their old lady who hasn’t offered since the early 90s.

So perhaps the study should go about a slightly different approach: “Men over 50 that aren’t limp-dicks anymore decide to go ahead and use the resulted stiffy to pork younger but of dubious moral values ladies. Enter STDs”

And when they do finally get a chance to score with basically any other dame than the ever-boring grandmother of their grandchildren, they don’t use protection. Perhaps because last time they had sex a condom was considered a more or less exotic sex toy or because they don’t think they could impregnate a woman anymore. Y’all know that 30% of 50+ husbands are bound to cheat right? Imagine how many more could do it now that we have erection enhancing drugs.

I’m pretty sure that scientifically speaking, what I just wrote above has no value whatsoever, so if you’re 65 and banged a semi-hooker and now have the warts to prove it, you can still go ahead and sue the people that make the ED drugs. God knows those assholes have enough money to go around.

Note for the less sharp: although this study is as real as possible, our explanations are pure inventions. We like to embellish news stories sometimes, that’s all.