Shape of Knockers Determines Personality

February 11, 2010 by Ted58 Comments

Finally, some good news: an Italian sex researcher claims he can tell a woman’s personality from the size and shape of her breasts. He has categorized breast types according to fruits and says men can draw up their own horoscope-type chart that indicates what a woman’s chest size says about her. Of course we at Standard Madness feel rather compelled to spread the word about this breakthrough discovery and throw in a couple of examples from the world of celebrities for exemplification, verification and for our World of Warcraft playing readers.

Melons

melon boobs

Gotta love the melons! According to the study melon-shaped jugs while nice, large and round determine a somewhat unexpected personality pattern: a woman possessing said assets likes eating and wants to be spoiled and admired, but seldom likes sex. Ouch.

Celebrity example: Christina Hendricks

melon boobs

Big, round, melon-shaped, natural, ample, delicious looking? Checked. She’s a size 12 so she evidently likes to eat, she said so herself. And she’s married to the these snozberries taste like snozberries dude from Super Troopers so that pretty much solves the sex-life mystery.

Standard Madness Verdict – VERIFIED

Grapefruit

grapefruit boobs

Grapefruit shaped boobs. Never heard of them before, but after some intense research, we have a brief description: pert and firm. It looks like a chick who’s got the grapefruits may look erotic, but in reality is bashful and homely. She spoils her partner but prefers tenderness over sex.I’ll pass.

Celebrity example: Katherine Heigl

grapefruit boobs

She does look erotic, no doubt about that and her rack certainly fits the description, but will she fit into the category personality wise? It seems so after we read this interview of her from back in 2007.

Standard Madness Verdict – VERIFIED

Pineapple

pineapple boobs

Breasts that are oval-shaped, pert and not too small remind the Italian researcher of pineapples. He says A woman with pineapple breasts is intelligent, often has a career but is still romantic. They are also faithful. Whoever wins their heart will not lose it quickly. Looks like a home run.

Celebrity example: Scarlett Johansson

pineapple boobs

Pineapples are my new favorite fruit. After a bit of research I discovered that the one celebrity who’s got the pineapple shaped honkers is Scarlett Johansson. Pineapple boobs – checked. Intelligent – checked. Has career – totally. She’s also a long term relationship type of person so it’s all there. For a more in depth Scarlett Johansson analysis, check out our semi-scientific tribute.

Standard Madness Verdict – VERIFIED

Cherry

cherry boobs

The cherries are entertaining and intelligent. Make great partners both for everyday life and on holiday and are moderately interested in sex. If moderately interested in sex means there’s a chance she might actually consider giving you a chance, then it appears the cherries are a very interesting option.

Celebrity example: Milla Jovovich

cherry boobs

Of course Milla Jovovich is entertaining and intelligent. She appealed to our geek core with her blockbuster roles in The Fifth Element and the Resident Evil series and we are entertaining and intelligent too. As for her moderate interest in sex, Milla is a family girl and those of us with families would probably describe their wife’s interest in sex as moderate, right? We’ll just approve of this one too.

Standard Madness Verdict – VERIFIED

Lemon

lemon boobs

The pert and prominent adorable lemon shaped bazookas are an optimal choice for those of us who enjoy fun, study suggests: Men who want someone a bit more lively they should choose a woman with “lemon” breasts – pert and prominent. These women are full of life and can laugh at themselves. They want a balanced life without surprises. No one like surprises, right?

Celebrity example: Natalie Portman

lemon boobs

Oh beautiful Padme. Natalie Portman is one of the very few celebrities that published in the field of advanced mathematics. She’s also very politically involved and actually makes some valid points. Fun? She loves to party, drink and indulge with Carvel ice cream cake. And yes, she has pert, prominent, small-ish, lemon-shaped boobs.

Standard Madness Verdict – VERIFIED

Orange

orange boobs

Round, hard, palm-size breasts are dreamy. The disappointment comes when you read about the type of personality they indicate. According to our study, a chick with orange shaped boobs is self-confident and knows her goals, she has little interest in sex. She likes conversation and partnerships. Probably a great business partner?

Celebrity example: Jessica Alba

orange boobs

One of the sexiest celebrities in the world, Jessica Alba is a cerebral and mature actress who will have an important role on the entertainment stage in years to come. She is indeed self-confident, but surprisingly not for her striking good looks, but more for her acting abilities and her intellect. She got engaged as a virgin in the early 2000s, has only been in two relationships, she’s a family woman and she prefers older man, because they are the right life partners for her. Perfect match and another win for Mr. Italian Researcher.

Standard Madness Verdict – VERIFIED

Pear

pear boobs

A woman with pear-shaped breasts loves love in all its variations. She can be very religious, but is known to have affairs. This seems a little bit far-fetched, especially about the religious part. What is indisputable about pear shaped bodies (you know -wide, ample hips and breasts and narrow waist and shoulders) and especially about pear-shaped boobies is that they look absolutely gorgeous and raise a guy’s attraction the quickest.

Celebrity example: Mariah Carey

pear boobs

Perhaps not your favorite singer in the whole world, Mariah Carey is exponential for the body type we’re talking about and she does kinda resemble a sweet, juicy pair. With her inclination for adventures and flings (Eminem is just an example of that), Mariah is also a very devout Catholic so the study nailed it again.

Standard Madness Verdict – VERIFIED

Conclusion – We are not sure if we agree with these findings and we think breasts are beautiful no matter what shape and size they come into. The information above should probably be taken as a pamphlet and an attempt at comedy rather than literally, especially since the Italian researcher studied personality and ended up talking about sex pretty much all over his discoveries. However, should there be any female research assistants willing to help us test these claims, we are now accepting applications via email. Cheers!

Comments

58 Responses to “Shape of Knockers Determines Personality”
  1. Oh, come on … did anybody see any words on this page? LOL

  2. Pat says:

    After going back and rereading it for the words I noticed a trend. The most interested that any of them get in sex is moderate. What shape says you’ve got a 99% chance you’ll ger lucky with this one tonight

  3. lgl says:

    I’m a great female breast lover (of all shapes and sizes) myself and this is a very interesting analyses of boob shapes and personalities. I’m not sure how true they are, though.
    There was a girl in my life who had, what I call lemon sized breasts (her lemons were smaller than Natalie Portman’s:-) and so I’m not even calling them boobs). She was certainly full of life, spoke and behaved intelligently but I’m not sure about other attributes listed here (for girls with lemon breasts) being true with her. By the way, she was also very keen on sex but only as a family girl.

  4. Just want to say your article is as astounding. The clearness in your submit is simply cool and i could suppose you’re an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to stay up to date with approaching post. Thanks one million and please keep up the rewarding work.

  5. i jst love to suck the penis and boobs i hav done self sex many times and i want to do so if anybody is intrstd plz call 9424479787

  6. Simone says:

    Errr … I’m no female breast researcher, although I did come across your interesting article while researching bosoms. LOL. I can tell you one thing from a female perspective though … no matter the shape or size of a female’s breasts, sexual appetites, abilities, zest for, or romantic inclinations do NOT depend on endowment or shape! The primary factors are character of the ‘wearer’ and the behaviour of the ‘player’. Incidentally, the man will discover that all he needs to do to elicit the best sexual response from a female is to appreciate her, validate her emotions, listen to her needs, and preferably to come FIRST in his life. Women may be highly sexed but they will lose interest in sex if any of these ingredients are missing (as they most often are! :-) ).

    This so-called Italian researcher is basing his so-called ‘research’ on his lustful longings. I think it’s all a bunch of crap! …LOL

  7. gwenef2 says:

    youtubesabado gigante sissi pre teen suck telgu free blue film danni ashe xxx video
    http://booty.net.erolove.in/?allyson
    http://adultgalls.com/?girl-alfreda
    girls in extreme bondage dicodin for male lip dryness scaling pain hot chicks big dicks girl chicken from chicken run tarkio college baseball pre teen model nude burberyy black womens jacket
    http://adultgalls.com/?sexy-gracie

  8. linagr55 says:

    sex free gay tube dad porno star in helicopter uncut video similarities between victor and the monster
    http://xaijo.com/browse?gallery-manuela
    http://bdsmgalls.net/?sexy-jimmie
    free japan gyno urdu porn stories anal gyno pictures did marisa miller get breast implants xxx miley cyrus comics ron stoppable and kim possible xxx how draw manga casual wear rapidshare porno woman and dog hardcore clit movies pissing tube free porn
    http://adultgalls.com/?random-tabatha
    iga wyrwal nude movies shemale porn galleries amateur gang bang videos cinema gangbang video horse fuck tube free all dat azz orgy videos pictures tomsk russia the smiths old grey whistle test serbian sex movies free site e sex pareja sexo anal gay puro
    http://anal.erolove.in/?natalia
    pictures of ashley greene la garde des sceaux de west africa broad shoulders vs male pussy city free download arab sex movie shemale cumshots torents part1 rar underwater deepthroat in bathtub sexo free xxxx indian big cocks rusian sex movie
    http://gaygalls.net/?gallery-lenora

  9. maybe my letters are heading to Steve C!

  10. Val Ezer says:

    Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossips and net and this is really frustrating. A good web site with interesting content, this is what I need. Thank you for keeping this site, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Cant find it.

  11. Related Site says:

    First of all I would like to say superb blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I’ve had a difficult time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there. I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or tips? Appreciate it!

  12. My partner and I stumbled over here different website and thought I may as well check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you. Look forward to checking out your web page again.

  13. Thanks for this wonderful article. Yet another thing to mention is that many digital cameras come equipped with the zoom lens that permits more or less of any scene to become included by way of ‘zooming’ in and out. All these changes in target length will be reflected within the viewfinder and on significant display screen right at the back of the exact camera.

  14. Thanks for your article. My spouse and i have always noticed that a majority of people are desperate to lose weight simply because they wish to appear slim in addition to looking attractive. Having said that, they do not always realize that there are other benefits to losing weight in addition. Doctors insist that over weight people are afflicted by a variety of diseases that can be perfectely attributed to their particular excess weight. The great news is that people who are overweight plus suffering from different diseases can reduce the severity of their own illnesses by losing weight. It is possible to see a slow but noticeable improvement with health when even a bit of a amount of weight loss is realized.

  15. site xxx simplement pour les habitués de vidéos de
    sexe . Du excellent xxx de bonnes putains pénétrées à sec qui rafollent se faire

  16. Est trop 1 site adulte de qualité pour les adultes de 18 printemps,
    qui contient porno hard et thématiques comme : amateur de sexe, Hardeur, Public,
    Porno fr, Vieille

  17. Est méga leur premier site web x de qualité pour les personnes de 18 printemps, qui comporte film porno et rubriques comme :
    sexe amateur, Vicelard, Public, Porno francais, Vieille

  18. Continuing says:

    I love it when individuals come together and share opinions. Great blog, keep it up!

  19. This is very interesting, You’re an excessively professional blogger. I’ve joined your
    feed and look forward to in search of more of your
    magnificent post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks

  20. Hello my loved one! I wish to say that this article is amazing, great written and come with approximately all important infos. I would like to peer more posts like this .

  21. sextrans says:

    Very good blog post. I absolutely appreciate this website.
    Continue the good work!

  22. Hello there! This article couldn’t be written much better! Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I am going to forward this article to him. Pretty sure he’ll have a very good read. Thanks for sharing!

  23. Gayle Furtaw says:

    Inspiring I can absolutely say that this blog was helpful. If you need a second review IM me.

  24. see page says:

    Hi there! This blog post could not be written any better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept talking about this. I’ll forward this post to him. Pretty sure he’s going to have a great read. Thank you for sharing!

  25. i loved this says:

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post and also the rest of the website is also very good.

  26. assisted living is good in case you got many people and also a house that cares really substantially to its occupants**

  27. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thanks, However I am experiencing issues with your RSS. I don’t understand why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting identical RSS problems? Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  28. moved here says:

    A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I believe that you ought to write more about this subject, it may not be a taboo subject but generally folks don’t speak about such issues. To the next! Cheers!!

  29. A powerful share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a bit evaluation on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the deal with! Nevertheless yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I truly feel strongly about it and really like reading more on this topic. If potential, as you turn out to be expertise, would you thoughts updating your weblog with far more particulars? It’s highly beneficial for me. Huge thumb up for this weblog put up!

  30. What i don’t understood is if truth be told how you’re now not really a lot more well-liked than you may be right now. You’re very intelligent. You already know thus considerably with regards to this matter, produced me for my part imagine it from so many varied angles. Its like men and women aren’t fascinated except it is something to do with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. At all times care for it up!

  31. Wow! It’s a fastidious jQuery script; I was also searching for that, thus i got it right now from at this place. Keep it up admin.

  32. Scott Bynam says:

    I comparable the costly in order you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check over now frequently. I’m wholly sure I’ll learn countless new to the job stuff decent here! Best of luck for the next!

  33. I blog quite often and I really appreciate your content. The article has truly peaked my interest. I’m going to book mark your blog and keep checking for new information about once per week. I subscribed to your RSS feed too.

  34. Network Advertising and marketing is certainly pretty common because it can earn you a great deal of dollars within a very short time frame..

  35. Paragraph writing is also a fun, if you be acquainted with after that you can write or else it is complicated to write.

  36. I do agree with all the ideas you’ve presented in your post. They’re very convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are very short for novices. Could you please extend them a little from next time? Thanks for the post.

  37. Eve says:

    Hey there! Good things, desire be us posted when you post after another time a little like that!

  38. I wanted to compose you that tiny remark to help thank you so much again relating to the gorgeous knowledge you’ve shared in this article. This has been extremely open-handed of you to convey publicly exactly what numerous people would’ve offered for an ebook to generate some dough on their own, precisely now that you could possibly have tried it in the event you decided. The good ideas likewise worked to become easy way to fully grasp some people have similar zeal similar to my personal own to see a good deal more when considering this condition. I am sure there are some more pleasurable opportunities ahead for people who find out your blog.

  39. Needed to draft you this very little observation in order to give many thanks as before for those great tactics you have discussed in this article. This is so extremely open-handed with people like you to provide extensively precisely what a lot of folks might have distributed as an electronic book in making some money for themselves, especially considering that you could possibly have tried it if you ever decided. Those advice additionally worked to provide a good way to understand that some people have the identical passion really like my own to find out significantly more regarding this condition. I’m certain there are many more enjoyable moments up front for many who looked at your site.

  40. Hurrah! Its also fastidious article on the topic of JavaScript, I am in fact eager of learning JavaScript. thanks admin

  41. tommy hilfiger 財布 2013

  42. Howdy just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.

  43. I’ve been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.

  44. Full Post says:

    It’s very simple to find out any topic on net as compared to textbooks, as I fount this piece of writing at this web page.

  45. Hi, i my stats show that you visited my site thus i came to “return the favor” and check out your web site.I’m attempting to find stuff to enhance my web site!I suppose it’s ok to use some of your ideas!

  46. somebody passing by says:

    nonsense i would say…
    some women’s breasts change their shape after nursing babies, do they always change their personalities? i don’t think so…

  47. hello!,I love your writing very much! share we keep up a correspondence extra approximately your article on AOL? I need a specialist in this area to unravel my problem. May be that’s you! Having a look forward to peer you.

  48. Hey there! I simply would like to give you a big thumbs up for your great information you have got here on this post. I’ll be returning to your website for more soon.

Trackbacks

Check out what others are saying about this post...
  1. [...] of … The name is derived from the northern Italian village of Prosecco, where the grape is …Shape of Female Breasts Determine Personality | Standard MadnessStudy Suggests that Shape of Female Breasts Determine Personality … as a pamphlet and an attempt [...]

  2. [...] Shape of Knockers Determines Personality [...]

  3. [...] 7, 2010 by The Initech StaffLeave a Comment In yet another revolutionary case study, researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital and the University of Southern California have [...]

  4. [...] I agree that the hourglass body is not a bad look on ladies, this is a bit too much, don’t you [...]



Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!